Mary Jo Fay, RN, MSN, author of When Your “Perfect Partner” Goes Perfectly Wrong, offers these tips to help you and your partner develop trust in each other.
- Be consistent. Be on time. When you have to be late, call and say you’ll be late. Do what you say you will do, and call when you say you will call.
- Don’t lie, not even little white lies, to your partner or to others.
- Be fair, even in an argument.
- Carry your fair share of chores.
- Respect your partner’s boundaries.
- Be a good listener.
- Don't be jealous.
- Try not to overreact when things go wrong.
- Don’t dig up old wounds. Remember that once you say things, you can’t take them back.
- Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. You can still disagree, but don’t discount how your partner feels.
Relationship problem #4: Money issues
Money issues are a sore spot for many couples. Addressing them involves many questions, says Orbuch, from how much money you each think you should save to who earns more and who makes the financial decisions. “Money is an especially sensitive subject,” says Orbuch. “People just don’t like to talk about it."
Every three months, Orbuch says, you should schedule a “money talk.” Make a list of short- and long-term financial goals, and plan for how much you're spending and how much you're saving. “It’s not unusual for one partner to play a more primary role in money matters,” says Orbuch, “but the other partner should be involved and aware. One person shouldn't be making big financial decisions alone.”
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